super-structure

I’ve been inspired. It often comes from the small things in life as much as the large, ground shaking events. This comes from my friend, Stacie. I have many friends who have web-blogs, and most of us approach it from a geek standpoint. Stacie writes hers like a person, and I really found myself enjoying her posts more than most about web and tech stuff.

I’ve had a web site now for the past 5 years, and I’ve been running a blog for the past 5+ months. I keep telling myself that I’ll get around to posting some more meaningful things here, but I never do. I tell myself that I’ll eventually post the sorts of things that friends, family, and perfect strangers alike can read and actually get to know me. Maybe I’ll learn a little about myself in the process. Well, it’s become a perfect metaphor for my life. I keep saying to myself that I’ll be that person as soon as I get through all the rest of this crap, never realizing that real time is passing right now. People know me now, and just like a blog not worth reading, they’ll not have much reason to come back if I’m nothing more that a shallow existence. I don’t really want this to be record of nothingness. I want it to be a means of communication. That was my original goal for maintaining a web site, and I should concentrate on that more.

I don’t really believe I’m that shallow, I just let life go by. I’ve knowingly done this for as long as I can remember. I make great plans about the individual I want to be and how great it will feel, but never actually make effort to do those things. I say to myself, "when this really counts, I’ll do it better and take it more seriously." As if this is all just some practice run for when life really gets going. I have this feeling that I shouldn’t commit until I’m 100% ready. However, being an engineer has ingrained in me that there is nothing that is 100%, especially not me.

Here’s where the blog (and hopefully my friends, family and perfect strangers) come in. I need these thoughts out in the open, and then others can call me a flake when I don’t act on them. That’s fair, right? That way my little metaphor here, and my life, will hopefully stay on track. Will anyone be impressed? I doubt it, but I’ll be happy and fulfilled; after all, this is about me here, right? Back to my friend’s blog (all of my friends’ blogs for that matter), it really is wonderful to read what a day-in-the-life-of is like. How else can we know those things? Anyway, thanks Stacie and everyone else who reads here, posts here, writes their own blogs, etc. Keeping up with you all inspires me and is time well spent.

To be literal about a cliche, life is what you make it, not what you plan to make it when you bother to get up of the couch.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Anxiously waiting in line for the film, wondering what to say to the 100 or so people behind me when Angela finally shows up after work. (Didn’t matter in the end, as she didn’t get there until after I sat down.) I was clutching my tickets with the kind of glee reserved for a 4 year old on his birthday. Hell, it was my birthday: the final Star Wars film was here and I was in the line to see it; the pinnacle of geek highs.

And I wasn’t let down.

The final Star Wars film is a solid piece of work. There aren’t really any surprises here: you know where it begins and you know how it ends. The rest is 2-1/2 hours of intense light saber battles and anguish (on the part of Anakin, not me). This final film has more of an artistic flair than previous films. Sure, the cheesy serial film scene change effects are still there and Lucas isn’t known for his ability to bring out Oscar-worthy performances.

However, there are some scenes that are much more moody or composed than any of the previous installments. Case in point (and I’m not spoiling any plot here): The scene where Anakin finally is put into "the mask." The screen is filled with the profile of Vader’s mask as Anakin lies prone and motionless. Dead silence in which you can hear the collective mouths opening at the drama. Here is a brilliantly lit, motionless scene of one of the greatest icons of the 20th century. And then, in the silence you hear the familiar clicking and breathing of Vader’s respirator. For all the puns, humorous sketches, and parodies made in the past 28 years, you can still feel the immense gravity of this scene. Seeing the mask is the line binding back on itself to form a perfect circle. You know exactly where you are know.

There were a few things I had expected to see that weren’t there. While the Millennium Falcon can be seen briefly near the beginning of the film, it’s not really involved in the story like I would have imagined (let along a mention of what the Kessel run is, for you fan-boys and girls). I expected to see more of the formation of the rebel alliance, as well. Lastly, as cliché as it has become in my lifetime, I really wanted to see more of Darth Vader in the black mask. Not in some sort of fan-boy desire to see more Sith lords, but because I felt almost as if it was my heritage as a geek-child-of-the-seventies to see him. I’d waited all my life to get here and I deserved all the time I wanted to spend with him, story be damned.

Lucas does a fine job at filling in that gap between two known points. He provides us with a sense that this is the way it had to happen; that Darth Vader is less of a über-villain, and more of a story. Rather than using the Disney-esque villains-are-bad and heros-are-good model, Lucas also allows each of the characters to have motivations, doubts, and human involvement. Most impressive is Senator Palpatine. You get a sense that while he is no doubt evil and corrupt, he really forms a bond with Anakin. Sure, he only wants Anakin becuase he realizes that the young Jedi is the strongest of them all and easy to manipulate, but he no less seems to look out for the boy.

There was no applause after the film. I didn’t applaud, not because I didn’t like the film or enjoy myself, but because I was generally depressed. The story ends on a stunningly sober note and as the lights came back up, I realized that this was it. Applauding would just be more nails being driven into the coffin. There’s no point in my recommending this film. If you know me and read this, you’ll go see it. Not because I told you to, but because it’s your heritage as well. You’ve earned the right to see Darth Vader, too.