Today I had to visit my dentist today for one of those bi-annual cleanings1. The hygenist was new, but one of the first things she said asked was “So, you’re Angela Dyer’s husband?” I said yes, which is my usual answer to that question. She informed me that every single page and chart in my file stated that fact: Angela Dyer’s husband.
This is the sort of thing that used to bother me. That is, just to be only known via reference as opposed to as an individual. You can ask my old roommate, Jason J., that I didn’t take well to constantly be refered to as Jason’ roommate. I often, and not usually nicely, reminded people that I had a name too, and if you could remember Jason’s name, mine shouldn’t be too much of a stretch. However, I guess partly I’ve mellowed since then and also just resigned myself to the fact that it’s part of how people relate.
I guess back then, it just made me feel a little bit out of loop to constantly be refered to by relationship rather than name. Now, I routinely introduce myself to folks as Angela’s husband. A large number of them just call me Jason Dyer. You quickly loose your pride when that happens regularly.
- It’s not lost on me that I am fortunate enough to have a job that includes benefits such as medical insurance, including dental. [↩]